Healing the consequences of abortion - there is hope!

This section is written for the Christian woman who has had an abortion. You know you've been forgiven, yet there is 'unfinished business' there. Whether you're a brand new Christian*, or have had a personal relationship with Jesus Christ for many years - if you are still hurting... THERE IS HOPE!

Before we go on...if you are identifying with the pain, but are unsure of God's forgiveness, if you don't have a personal knowledge of God through His Son Jesus, then please read Healing the Consequences of Abortion: the beginning. Until you take the steps outlined there, what follows cannot help you. It will only work when you really know the only One who is able to set you free from the effects of your abortion. It is only Jesus living in you, who is able to make all things new.

However, if you have confessed your sin; if you have asked for and received God's forgiveness through Jesus Christ's death on the Cross; and if you have His resurrection life, then you are a child of the kingdom of God. We want to affirm what God has said about you.

The Bible says (2 Corinthians 5:17) that you are a "new creation" and that "old things are passed away." Isaiah 43:25 tells us God doesn't remember your sins, and in Isaiah 44:22 that He has redeemed you. You were in the kingdom of satan, but through Jesus' sacrifice, God has brought you, He has paid for you, and you now belong to him and are in His kingdom!

Now, God says He wants to see you set free from everything in your past, and that includes your abortion. As you have trusted Him to forgive your sin, now trust Him to complete the work of healing and restoration in your life. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you as you read and respond to the following.

Anger

It's understandable that you might be feeling angry about the people who let you down, or lied to you about your abortion. However, just as God has forgiven you, so you must now offer your forgiveness to those who have hurt you.

But God is there to forgive you and to help you to forgive other people. Ask Him.

Perhaps you'd like to write down a list of all those you feel anger toward. As you write each name, tell God you're forgiving that person. Even if you don't feel like it, God commands you to forgive. Feeling your anger is justified is no excuse. The lord requires you to forgive, and to disobey is sin. God's own anger toward you would have been justified - He is a holy God and you were a sinner - yet He has extended His mercy and forgiveness to you, and now, as a child of His, you need to be able to do the same toward those who have betrayed you.

This may mean, in some cases, your having to take some action to put relationships right. You may need to ask others to forgive you for your hatred of them, and you'll need to confess and repent of any ill feelings you've had toward others. But God is there to forgive you and to help you to forgive other people. Ask Him.

If you've been angry a long time, it may have become a habit, so it won't necessarily disappear right away. But each time anger resurfaces, affirm to God and yourself that you do forgive that person, and pray for the person as well, and one day, you will realise that the anger you have lived with for so long is gone!

"And be good to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:32)

Grief

The most common consequence of abortion is grief, but often it is not recognised. Perhaps you haven't realised, until this moment, that you've been grieving?

Maybe, even now, you're finding it difficult to acknowledge that what you've been feeling is grief.

Do you remember, when you first faced the truth about the abortion, that you acknowledged a child had died? This wasn't just any child, but your child. What you've been experiencing is the very natural grieving for the death of your child. Just because you were responsible for the abortion doesn't change the truth that your son or daughter has died. You need to be able to express the grief that's been suppressed till now. You might find this hard to do, because you've no memory of the child, but if you ask the Lord to help you, He will.

God has said, in Psalm 37:4, that He will grant "the desires of your heart." Ask Him to meet the secret longings you have had about your child. You cannot have your child back, but the Lord is able to minister to y our deepest needs if you allow Him.

All this will help identify your child as a person so that you will have someone real to grieve for.

The Bible tells us, "Blessed are they who mourn for they shall be comforted." (Matthew 5:4) Jesus understands what you are feeling, and through His Holy Spirit will enable you to fully express all the grief inside you.

Remember, grieving after abortion is a normal and natural part of the healing process. If you want someone to share this with, we are here for you.

Saying Goodbye

As a Christian you can be sure that one day you will be reunited with your child in Heaven. As a child of God you have His promise that Heaven is your eternal destination, and since the abortion, your child has already been there. Psalm 27:10 is a beautiful scripture that tells us that "when my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up." Your baby has been with Jesus in a place where there is no pain, no tears, and no death, (Revelation 21:4) and one day, you will be there also. So there is no reason for you to be worried about your child. In Jesus' presence is absolute joy and security, and your child looks forward to meeting you one day. Your need now is to let go, to say goodbye, to your child.

There are many ways you can do this. You can do it privately, in prayer, committing your child into the care of your heavenly Father, and expressing your joyful expectation of a future meeting. You may prefer some kind of ritual. This could take the form of a pretend letter to your child, or perhaps taking part in a memorial service. However you choose to say goodbye, you are laying to rest, finally, the "little ghost" who may have followed you around. You are letting go of the memories, imaginations that have perhaps haunted your dreams. And you are declaring your absolute trust in a loving God who will take good care of your child, until the day you both meet again.

You may be able to resolve your grief fairly and quickly, or it may take longer. Each of us grieves differently, and we need to give ourselves time to do so. Isaiah 53:4 says that Jesus "bore our grief and carried our sorrows" when He died on the Cross. Now He lives within you through His Holy Spirit. Let Him share your grief and heal you.

Forgiving Yourself

If God be for us, who can be against us?

It is especially true after abortion that we often find it harder to forgive ourselves than to forgive others. We can feel that what we did was too bad, too horrible, and that we cannot possibly ever forgive ourselves for this betrayal of self.

If anyone had a good reason to judge us as too bad, or not to forgive, it was God. Yet He doesn't do that. In Jesus Christ, He has freely forgiven us and cleansed us for every sin. (1 John 1:19) We saw earlier that God doesn't even remember our sin. That means He does not hold it against us.

How, then, can we hold it against ourselves? "If God be for us, who can be against us?" asks Romans 8:31. If God is able to forgive us how is it that we cannot, that we will not forgive ourselves?

As Christians, we need to agree with God. He has said we are forgiven, so let us agree with Him. The devil will lie to try to keep you blaming yourself, and caught up in the sin of self-pity, but don't listen to him! Every time the thoughts return, affirm to yourself and to God that you do forgive yourself because in Christ Jesus, you are forgiven by God.