Pregnant and troubled? WE CARE ABOUT YOU.

This is written to all those who find themselves in an unexpected pregnancy. Right now, the last thing you want is someone telling you what to do, right? Perhaps you're feeling trapped, that you've no option but abortion?

Well, we understand, we've been there. Like you, we wanted the problem to go away, and it seemed abortion was the answer. Now we wish someone had said, "Wow! You're having a baby!" and hugged us.

Or that a voice had cried, "Stop! That's a baby you're destroying!" If only just one person had told us there were other options! None of those things happened. Instead, we heard all the reasons why abortion was the right choice, and so we aborted the babies we were carrying.

Pregnancy lasts 9 months, abortion is forever Afterwards we discovered the lie. Abortion didn't solve anything at all. Oh, there wasn't a baby any more, but there were memories, guilt, grief and anger. We tried to make them go away.

Sex, drugs and alcohol didn't help. We got busy, took up crafts, did community work. Thatdidn't work either. Some of us had "atonement" babies, but they reminded us of the baby we had aborted. Many found they could not be proper mothers. We abused our children, or smothered them with care, out of fear. For others, abortion damaged us physically, so that there will never be other children. And ironically, for many, having an abortion meant the end of the relationship that the abortion was meant to save.

By seven weeks, he or she has a face with eyes, nose, lips and tongue, a face that might one day look like yours!

Telling the truth

We're not telling you this to scare you. We just don't want you to suffer as we did. Most of us who had abortions really believed we were doing the right thing, at the time, but we didn't have all the facts, did we? Now that it's your turn, we want you to know the truth, before you make your decision.

Congratulations, you're having a baby!

Is it appropriate to offer congratulations, given the circumstances? We believe it is, because from the moment of conception, you have been part of a miracle, the miracle of life. Your body, your womb, has become the refuge of a tiny, unique little person whose protection depends on what you decide to do.

Is it a baby?

This is not a stupid question. Lots of people will never mention the word "baby" when they talk to you about your pregnancy. But know the truth. This is not "tissue" or "products of conception" we are talking about here. This is a human being, whose heart began to beat before you knew you were pregnant. By seven weeks, he or she has a face with eyes, nose, lips and tongue, a face that might one day look like yours! Abortion, then, will destroy an innocent little baby.

Feeling confused?

We also need to point out that right now, your hormones are doing some pretty funny things, and you probably aren't thinking as clearly as usual. This is normal, it happens to all women during pregnancy, whether it was planned or not. It's normal, too, to have mood swings, and to change your mind, off and on, about how you feel about being pregnant. So it isn't the best time, is it, to be making a hasty decision, especially one you will live with for the rest of your life. You really need time to make a careful decision.

Before going further...

We'd like to make a suggestion. Do you have someone you trust, who'll support your decision to continue your pregnancy? Then why don't the two of you go to a library and check out the development of your baby? You can ask your doctor to do an ultrasound. Then, when you know we've been telling you the truth, that this is a baby, you can tackle the next step, which is to decide what to do.

Letting the baby live

We truly hope that when you realise you are carrying a baby, you will decide to continue with the pregnancy. Abortion is not the only option there is, remember. It may seem that what we are suggesting is difficult, but then, is doing the right thing always easy?

If you carry your child to term, where will you live? Who will support you during your pregnancy? There are agencies, both private and governmental, who can help with financial, material and emotional help. If you live at home, you might need help to tell your parents, or your boyfriend. Whatever happens, don't panic. Remember, it was a shock to you, at first, so the news of your pregnancy may well be a shock to others. Let the initial reaction die down; you may then be surprised by what support is there. And if it is not, there are others to help you. Most of all, don't allow anyone to pressure you, remember, YOU are the one who will have to live with your decision, and as the mother of this baby, you are the best to decide on its future.

Adoption

Sometimes young girls tell us they could not live with themselves if they gave up a child for adoption. We won't pretend this is easy, but speaking from experience, we know that it cannot be nearly as difficult as living the rest of your life knowing you have killed your own baby. An aborted child is dead, what's done is done, but an adopted child is alive and can be met in the future, if you want this. If you don't have anyone to support you with this decision, please contact usso that we can put you in touch with people in your area who will help you.

Single Parenthood

There is now a lot of assistance for single mums, so this obviously an option. Single mums are now going back to school with government help, so pregnancy does not need to mean the end of study or of a career.

A word to dads...

Just in case you're thinking you've been forgotten, most of what we've said applies to you, too. But here's a special word just for you.

Congratulations, you are a dad! It might not be what you planned, but if this is your baby, then you are a father. The mother of your baby needs your support, and you need to know that this means more than just saying, "Whatever you decide, I'll support you." As well meaning as it may be, for many it has meant one dead baby and two miserable people.

No, she needs to know that you care enough about her and the baby that you will do everything in your power to protect their welfare. If this is not so, that's sad, but it doesn't free you from your responsibility to be a real man and a true friend for her now, when she needs you the most.

It's not too late to change your mind.

As long as you are carrying that child within your body, it is not too late to change your mind, or to cancel an appointment at an abortion clinic.

If after reading this, you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy (and we pray you will) then we would like to help you to contact those in your locality who can help you. Please contact us.

Remember, take your time!

You are the one who will have to live with your decision, so don't let anyone pressure you into an abortion.

There are those who genuinely care about you and about your baby.

People who truly care about you will always tell you the truth. Beware of those who use cliches or speak half-truths. Those who make a living out of abortion counselling don't always tell you the truth. Those who advocate abortion won't be there for you afterwards, whilst those who really care for you will be there for you right throughout your pregnancy and afterwards.